Erotic Spanking – Ultimate Guide
You could be a male or female, you could have the most beautiful partner in the world, still your act of love can quickly become stale if you continue to do the same thing.
You both could be very intimate and passionate, but still your intimacy will become nothing more than a ritual and eventually the flame will douse when you don’t add variety and surprise element.
There is nothing to worry. You can reignite the spark and we have some practicable suggestions to elevate the quality of lovemaking. Though there are several ways to add spark to your lovemaking, erotic spanking is one of the simplest, but highly effective ways to infuse renewed energy into your bedroom.
Whether you want to enjoy the pain yourself or expose your partner to the pleasures of pain, then this guide will help you enjoy outstanding pleasure through erotic spanking.
How Spanking Works?
Pain, in general, is something that everybody dislikes and wants to avoid. But then why people like to get spanked. The answer lies in understanding the brain chemistry behind it.
When someone is spanked, the brain will register the pain and will release a cascade of chemicals to fight the pain or to reduce the pain. The brain will release endorphins, serotonin and dopamine (a hormone that is known to contribute to addictive behaviours).
The release of these hormones are so minimal which you may not even know consciously. But it will leave a mark in your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind will recognize it and your mind will prepare you to enjoy the pain.
Further, spanking has quickly become an accepted practice as it involved stroking an erogenous zone of the body. An erogenous zone is highly sensitive to sexual stimulation.
Other erogenous zones being penis head, clitoris, nipples, lips etc. So, spanking stimulates your partner instantly leading to fast arousal and enjoyment.
Spanking is done on buttocks, the portion which has largest muscle with loads of nerve ending is very sensitive to stimulation leading to pleasurable results. Thus, spanking has physical, psychological and hormonal reasons to feel pleasure and quick stimulation.
How to enjoy Erotic Spanking safely?
Don’t assume that you can start spanking your partner as a surprise. She may or may not enjoy when she is not ready. Further, when you go little overboard and spank her really hard, she would feel the pain more when she was not prepared for it, then the whole idea could become a frustrating experience for her and disappointing time for you as well.
So, it is important to prepare yourself and your partner for erotic spanking.
Communicate your desires to your partner
Be open and discuss the idea of spanking with your partner and make your partner understand your desires to spanking or receive spanking.
A sexual relationship thrives in open communication and you should be open to express your wants and desires with your partner.
Only when you both indulge in the act happily with full consent, you can expect pleasurable results.
Be clear about your roles
Whether you want to spank or want to be spanked, be clear about who does what. Never underestimate or ridicule your partner’s desire, even it may sound silly.
Everybody has the right to experience their deep rooted fantasy. So, don’t be surprised at your partner’s desire and be willing to give it a try.
Don’t force your partner
When your partner is not ready for spanking, never force him or her. What excites you need not excite your partner.
Everyone has different taste and sexual appetite and there is every reason for someone to dislike the idea of spanking. In such a situation, never force your partner to your idea of spanking.
Decide on tools and intensity of spanking
As with intensity, you can start with your hands and when your partner is comfortable, you can slowly introduce paddles and then use something that can give her a hard sting.
You can start spanking her with a low intensity and then gradually increase the intensity as she becomes more receptive to spanking pain and resulting pleasure.
Whatever intensity you and your partner decide it, it’s important to respect it at all times. And you can change your preferences as you both evolve.
It is also good to set clear boundaries such as when the spanking will occur during your lovemaking, such as during sex, before or after sex and for how long. Express your desire and also listen to your partner’s preferences.
Test your tool on yourself before using it on your partner
There are number of tools available for enjoying erotic spanking. But before using it on your partner’s buttocks, it is better to test it on your own, so that you can understand its power and intensity.
Unless you test it on your own skin, you may not know how intense a particular tool or spanking can be on your partner’s skin. To ensure your spanking play happens within comfortable boundaries, you should test each and every tool and every technique on yourself first before you actually try it on your partner.
If you find it difficult to spank yourself, you can ask your partner to do it on yourself first. You should do that for sure even if you and your partner agree that you’ll be the spanker for most of the times.
Set your ‘safe’ words and safe gestures
Once your partner has given consent for spanking, make sure your act should be safe and enjoyable to both partners. You should decide on the tools you are going to use, the intensity of spanking that will happen and safe words that your partner will use to indicate his or her endurance limit on spanking.
When your partner feels that you are going over board and the spanking becomes unbearable, your partner can use a safe word such as ‘RED’ or ‘FISH’ or something else, which on hearing you should stop your spanking immediately.
Safe word should be outside the usual bedroom context to ensure your partner understands it as a warning to stop the game instantly. You can use a safe word or a gesture to indicate your uncomfortableness.
Ideally you can start off your erotic spanking play with your bare hands. But soon, you and your partner will need spanking with greater intensity and at that stage you will need a tool that can render stronger and stingier pleasure to your partner.
We give below some of the widely used and highly effective spanking tools.
Paddles
Paddles are the safest and widely used tools by couples across the world when they begin to venture into the world of spanking. A paddle is a flat surfaced object with a handle at the bottom, something similar to a table tennis bat.
Paddle is available in a variety of materials including wood and leather and combination of both. You will be spoilt for choice when you shop for a paddle online as there are practically countless varieties of paddles are now available. Paddles offer couples a safe and good way to start enjoying spanking pleasure.
Floggers
When you both evolve in the practice of erotic spanking, you will certainly need floggers to enjoy more intense pleasure. Floggers come with a bunch of flexible leather strips at the end with a rigid handle. With a thin leather strip at the end, floggers can be used to trigger intense sting.
A flogger can inflict a more intense pain compared to a paddle. Alternatively, floggers can also be used to tickle your partner. There are quite a few varieties of floggers are also available.
A basic flogger is something that has plain straps, which there are floggers with braided straps and wedged straps with a strong leather for increased pain.
Whip
A whip is a much more advanced compared to a flogger. Let us see the difference. As already mentioned, a flogger is an object with a sturdy handle with a bunch of straps at the end.
Whereas a whip is an object with a handle with just one light strip at the end. The strip itself is the whip and, when it lands on the skin, it can do anything from causing a slight tickle to drawing blood.
The whip comes with a distinctive advantage because of its structure. Using a whip you can spank your partner when from a distance as the strap is usually long allowing you to use it to spank even from a distance. Whips come in variety of handles, strap types and materials to choose from depending on your partner’s spanking appetite.
Canes
When you and your partner want a seriously intense spanking, then canes the ideal spanking tools that can be tried.
A cane is referred to as a punishment rod, is a rigid object made using wood, leather, plastic or metal or combination of any two or three items. Cane is used to deliver a swift and painful spank. It is the most powerful spanking tool available in the market.
Cane is the ultimate spanking tool and it is meant for advanced users who already have been exposed to intense spanking before and they want a more intense one. The cane can provide really hard blow that you need to play it safe.
You are now exposed to different spanking tools with various levels of intensity.
But do you know how to choose the right tool and where to begin?
What is the right Spanking tool to start?
If you are not sure about the right tool to start, then the easiest and safest one to start erotic spanking is a paddle or a flogger.
Wide range of paddles and floggers are available in tons of websites today. It is proven beyond doubt that paddle and flogger are great introductory toys for both the spanker and the spankee. It can be the safest as well.
You will learn more as you move to more advanced levels of spanking and that is when you can try other options mentioned above.
You can then move on to BDSM toys which will allow you both to experience higher levels of erotic pleasure. Even in BDSM, you can try a number of toys as expand your comfort levels.
What are the best Sex positions for Spanking?
Similar to sexual position, even spanking positions are highly individualistic. What is comfortable to you may not be comfortable to others.
So, we give below some of the best positions for spanking, which are mere suggestions. It is upto you to try and decide the one that you both consider comfortable.
Bend over the knee
You can make your spankee bend over your knee so that you can give hard spanks.
Being a spanker, you can sit on the edge of a chair, couch, bed and have the spankee lie over your knee on her stomach with her bumps raised for you to spank.
This position gives you an easy reach to your bumps to give your partner some intense spanking. The spanker can use hand or a short spanking tool, such as a paddle, to spank their partner.
Bent over a surface
This is another position where the spanker can be in a better position and have greater control while spanking. In this position, the spankee will bend over a tabletop, bed side, counter or some other flat service.
Spanker can stand behind the buttocks, either directly behind or on the sides. Then the spanker can spank hard either with hand or a paddle. In this position, the spanker can move around freely and thus he can vary the intensity of spanking, direction and speed as he can have better control as he is in a standing position.
Stand on all fours
Doggie style can work best for spanking. You can make your partner stand on all fours with hands and knees on floor.
The spanker can stand or kneel in the right position to spank. This will give the spanker a right position to provide intense spanks to the spankee. The spanker can use their hand or tools like paddle or flogger to spank.
Kneeling
Kneeling is also a great position for spanking. In this position, you can make your spankee kneel on their knees with their lower and upper legs forming ‘L’ shape in front of you.
Alternatively your partner can also kneel completely with their haunches positioning above their feet as it would be difficult to kneel for a longer duration.
The spanker can sit or kneel directly behind their partner, or they can sit to the side. You can also make your spankee kneel on a raised surface, such as a couch or bed, so that spanker can spank in standing position.
Paddles and floggers can be used ideally in the kneeling position as the spanker can access the sides of the buttocks most easily.
You can attempt whips and canes also in this position, though the angle may make it difficult to make thorough contact. This is a good position to spank your partner intensely as you would be in a good position to allow your partner to experience pleasurable pain.
Bending Down With Hands Down
This is similar to bending over a surface position, but the spankee will simply bend in an open space. The spankee will entirely bend forward with their hands down.
The spankee will place their hands on the floor, and the spanker can then stand behind them. There is no need for spankee to lock their knees in this position.
Your partner can keep the knees slightly bent forward to reduce pain over knees and hip. Spanker can stand behind the spankee’s buttocks and give intense spank continuously.
Lying flat on bed
This is the most comfortable position, in which the spankee can lie on his or her stomach. The spanker can then spank them while kneeling or sitting close to buttocks, while sitting on the bed beside them, or while standing next to or at the end of the bed.
This position is a great time to pull out the whips and canes. The spanker can sit in a comfortable position depending on the position of the spankee’s buttocks.
Conclusion
Erotic spanking is one of the ways to spice up your sex life and expose yourself to the painful pleasures of sex. Your partner is most likely to enjoy spanking as it will provide them an exciting alternative in bed.
Though, erotic spanking is highly pleasurable, it is good to do it with the consent of your partner.
There is no need to buy any tool initially to enjoy erotic spanking. You can start off with your bare hands and then slowly you can introduce erotic spanking tools like paddle, flogger, whips and other tools to enjoy it. You both can choose comfortable positions to enjoy spanking at its best.
So, enjoy spanking and spice up your sex life so that you both can enjoy exciting time in bed.
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