Dealing with Roommates While Involving in Sex
You will have a stage in life where you will have to live with a roommate; it could be during your college life or during your employment. Irrespective of your roommate's attitude towards you, you should be respectful of his or her personal space, particularly when it comes to sex.
Sharing personal space with a roommate can be awkward, particularly when the person is a total stranger. However, you will have to live with him for some time and here are some tips to deal with your roommate when he or she is involved in sex.
Scenario 1 - You have walked in while your roommate is having sex
Knowingly or unknowingly walking in to your room while your roommate is busy with sex can be the most uncomfortable and undesirable experience for both of you. It can instantly turn into you object of annoyance and loss of friendship if you don't with it properly.
Walking in on your roommate having sex can be an uncomfortable experience for both of you and can quickly turn into an annoyance if you don't talk about it with your roommate. Here's some tips to avoid any awkwardness and make sure you both have enough time to get it on without interruption.
Step Out Silently
Allow your roommate to complete the activity and you step out silently without saying any word. You need to give them time to adjust themselves, clean up and put some clothes on. If you bust out and start shouting or start giggling loudly, this might turn into a fight as well depending on how you react to it. They would be furious for being caught by someone during the act.
Wait for the partner to leave before you talk to your roommate
Don’t ever talk anything about it to your roommate before his or her partner. The equation between you and your roommate may be completely different as you both might be comfortable being in stark naked before each other. But the partner might be bothered to remain naked in front of you. So, you wait for the partner to leave and don't utter even a single word. Talk to your roommate only after the partner leaves. They both need some breathing time to think about it and plan how to react. If you react overly before giving them time, this might make the whole thing very unpleasant.
Approach it calmly
Remember, the calmer you are, the calmer will be their response. You can say something like,
"Hi, I walked in accidentally.
I am sorry for disturbing you while you both are getting little intimate.
We need to have some kind of communication so that I spend extra time in cafeteria or sip an additional coffee until you guys complete your intimacy. Hope, I haven't bothered you much". When you approach the issue calmly similar to what we prescribed, you can be sure of their positive and calm response. They won't feel threatened or embarrassed anymore, as they would have understood that you took it positively and you genuinely don't want to disturb them in future.
Create a Code for you both
You both should have some kind of a visual or other form of code to notify your roommate that it is not good to walk in or you should wait for some time. Something like, you both can have a white board on the door and when smiley is drawn over it, you should know that your roommate is busy with his or her partner and you have to spend few minutes on the corridor or make a gentle knock and wait before they dress up and open the door. You need to create some kind of a code that is understandable to each other so that your roommate respects your personal space and privacy.
Stick to the code
Creating the code is not just enough, but sticking to the code is important. Make sure your roommate understands the importance of sticking to the code, particularly during your intimate time with your partner. When he occasionally or intentionally forgets to stick to the code, drive home the point to your roommate that he or she should follow the code for mutual benefit and respecting personal space.
You and your roommate have equal right to using the room. Talk to your partner about what is acceptable to you and what can annoy you? If you are ok with your roommate bringing his or her partner for few hours but don't like the partner staying overnight in the same room, then say it openly, because the third person need not eat into your personal space and disturb you beyond a point.
Change Your Room if your roommate is incompatible
If you feel that you are very uncomfortable with your roommate and feel that you can't stand his or her behavior, then it is appropriate to change your room by making formal requests to authorities concerned and just move on. Just be courteous and conscious of each other's needs, because being an unwelcome guest is always not a good thing.
Scenario 2 - You hear your roommate having sex
There could be instances while sharing a room with a roommate that as you approach the door, you could hear the loud moans or other sounds associate with sex to confirm that your partner is having sex inside the room. Here's what you should do under such circumstances:
Choose to Ignore it - Put on the headphones and listen to some good music. Gently walk out of your room and give them some time.
Speak to them after it is done - Don't knock knowing very well what they are upto inside the room. Knocking the door can make them feel pissed off. Wait for some time (atleast 15 minutes) and then knock the door knowing very well that they would have finished by then. Then talk to your roommate in a friendly tone after his or her partner leaves the room. You should not talk to your room before his or her partner as the partner may not take it casually. Because your roommate's equation with you may not be the same with his or her partner with you.
Make your roommate know about the noise - Ask your roommate to use some music to avoid the sound of moans being heard outside the room. You can also suggest them to move the bed closer to the wall so that the thudding noise of the bed can be avoided.
Tell your schedule - Ask them to restrict their love making only during the times when you are not going to be or coming to the apartment, so that they can be sure of unhindered fun. Also you can convey your schedule beforehand during weekends so that your roommate can have undisturbed sessions with his or her partner.
Being a roommate, you need to adjust and compromise to a certain level to avoid developing any hatred or untoward feeling towards your roommate. When you are open, supportive and positive towards your roommates sexual preferences, then it can make everything very positive and you can enjoy a highly cordial relationship with your roommate. When you respect your roommate's personal space, he or she is going to reciprocate the same way, giving you the much needed privacy and personal space.