A to Z on BDSM. An expert guide to BDSM sex for beginners

BDSM is an erotic sexual activity, involving in consensual power plays by two or more partners. BDSM full form is- Bondage & Discipline/ Dominance & Submission/ Sado-Masochism. Means a BDSM play include bondage, discipline, dominance and submission to make the sexual life more erotic and better.

One partner control and dominate another partner to make them sexually active. The Dominant is responsible for administering the act, while the submissive receives the administered act.

BDSM is centered on the implication or reception of physical, psychological and emotional pain during the act of sex. It is intended to provide mutual enjoyment to both or more partners involved.

BDSM is not limited to men or women, it can also happen between two lesbian or gay partners. If any one of the partner is not ready to give or receive physical or psychological stimulation, then it ceases to be defined under BDSM.

Many people assume that those indulge in BDSM are some sort of psychopaths or are plain abnormals. But it is not the case always. There are conclusive evidence to prove that majority of BDSM enthusiasts across the world are mentally as healthy as every other individuals.

Only that they find conventional sex unfulfilling and want something more intense and powerful. For BDSM enthusiasts, it is just another way of experiencing sexual pleasure, as simple as that.

Remember, we had times when homosexuality and oral sex were considered ‘perverse’ and ‘abnormal’. But times has changed and so does people’s perception about these things. Similarly BDSM is beginning to be accepted as an intense form of sex.

BDSM relationships vary from other sexual relationships as there is a dominant and submissive partner in BDSM. In other sexual relationships, there is no clear dominant or submissive partner.

BDSM Categories

Within BDSM there are several subcategories including

bondage & discipline
dominance and submission
sadism and masochism.

Bondage and discipline involves tying the partner’s limbs together. This can include use of handcuffs, ropes or chains. Discipline, on the other hand, refers to psychological restraint or use of physical punishment such as whipping.

Dominance and submission involves more mental aspects such as giving or receiving control of one partner over another.

Sadism and masochism, sometimes shortened to sadomasochism, refers to the exchange of physical or emotional pain. Sadism is the pleasure someone derives from inflicting pain upon a partner. On the other hand, in masochism the partner gains pleasure from being hurt.

BDSM has become an accepted way of sexual life for many and people who are participating in it know very well that the end goal is always to enjoy sexual pleasure by the use of different types of BDSM accessories or toys. So, all participants should operate within the accepted guidelines and rules laid down by BDSM practitioners worldwide. This has nothing to do with real life sadism which is done only with an aim to see others tremble in pain, both physical and psychological.

History of BDSM

The first ever BDSM practice dates back to 5^th Century BC. An archaeological discovery of textural records containing images of whippings and flagellation are proof that BDSM existed much before we anticipated. The images clearly show that it is for erotic purposes. BDSM in India too is pretty old.

The mention about hitting, biting and pinching can be included as part of the lovemaking in the ancient Indian sexual manual ‘Kamasutra’ can be taken as modern day BDSM. It is clear that BDSM is the ultimate act in sex, which only few dare to attempt.

Ancient Greek art depicts BDSM. European references relating to BDSM dates back to the 15th century. But BDSM actually flowered during the 18th century, when some European brothels began specializing in restraint, flagellation and other “punishments” that “dominant” women meted out to willingly “submissive” men.

So, it is clear that BDSM existed much before and has been in practice for several centuries.

BDSM is All about TRUST

BDSM is generally perceived as abusive and weird that it is all about whips, chains and pain. But, it is actually about trust. When trust trumps the possibility of harm, the result can feel incredibly intimate and erotic.

Many people consider BDSM perverted, dehumanizing, or worse. But aficionados call it the most loving, nurturing, intimate form of human contact and play. People can have sex without conversation, negotiation, or any emotional connection. But in BDSM, players always arrange things in advance with clear, intimate communication, which creates a special erotic bond.

Safety in BDSM

BDSM is not to be mistaken as something ‘mean’ or ‘aggressive behaviour’ or ‘inflicting pain’.

BDSM places emphasis on consent. This is what differentiates BDSM activities from domestic abuse, where one person is intentionally abusive. BDSM practitioners operate using a set of rules and regulations. There are ‘safe words’ that a partner can use during the session to stop or withdraw when the action becomes too intense or too painful to handle.

‘No’ or ‘Please stop’ or ‘Don’t do it’ are not commonly used safe words, which partners may be using playfully during a session.

Using “red” or “yellow” is a commonly used ‘safe word’.

When a partner utters ‘Red’ it means he or she wants to activity to be stopped immediately.

When ‘yellow’ is said, it means he or she wants the other one to slow down on the act.

Practitioners stress the importance of safety and consent in BDSM. There are several phrases that are used such as “safe, sane and consensual,” or “risk aware consensual kink.” These ideals stress that all aspects of play are discussed beforehand to ensure every act is performed with complete consent of those involved.

According to experts, BDSM, when practiced in a safe, consensual manner, can bring a relationship between partners to new levels of intimacy.

BDSM is all about trying out any kink and to be safe about it.

BDSM Types or Gadgets of BDMS

Various types of BDSM toys are available to enhance the quality and intensity of BDSM sex play. Some of the major categories of BDSM toys include:

Bondage Toys
Handcuffs
Spankers and Ticklers
Blindfolds, Masks and Mouth Gags
Nipple and Clitoral Toys
Cock and Ball Toys
Electro and Medical Fetish
Chastity Devices
Bondage Rope and Tape
Ball Gag
Red Hoipping
Bondage Tape
Kikkou Bondage Belt

Let us see each one of the above in detail.

BONDAGE TOYS

The term bondage refers to physical abstinence. Bondage toys allow you to exercise control over your partner by restraint. These toys allow you and your partner to explore the deep desires of executing control (master) or being controlled (slave). Bondage toys are the first step to BDSM practice and one or more bondage toys will feature in the arsenal of every BDSM practitioners.

Bondage accessories are used to tie up and restraint the movement of the partner. A couple can use different types of bondage accessories such as handcuffs, blindfolds, restraints, ropes gags etc., to bind the partner. Many people are excited about getting bound to a place or cot. It is also the type of toys even beginners try to feel the excitement. Bondage is often considered as the first step to BDSM.

Why people like bondage toys?

Bondage makes people become completely helpless and this gives them a special feeling. Some people find this extremely satisfying as they prefer to be exploited being absolutely powerless. Many women fantasize about having painful sex and bondage helps them live their fantasy and enjoy the fun in reality.

For the dominant partner, the obsession to be in complete control over the other partner drives them crazy as they are able to actually enjoy it through bondage. When your partner is tied and movement severely restricted, you can do anything you want and that gives a brutal power of domination which allows them to enjoy bondage to a great extent. Bondage helps people experience explosive orgasm as they are able to live their fantasy.

TYPES OF BONDAGE TOYS

There are varieties of bondage equipment and gears are available in the market. The bondage equipment is available with the different colour, shape, size, style and textures.

Dentists / Fetters – Dentist is used over the mouth like a gag. Fetter is used over the wrist and ankle. A couple can also use both dentists and fetters to restrain the whole body by combining both.
Mouth Gag – It has a ball with straps that restrict the movement of mouth and make breathing little difficult. It is a device that is strapped over the mouth
Restraint / support – Both whole body restraint and or bondage tape can be included in this category. The restraint can be worn in the whole body or in a particular portion. Beginners can also use it, only thing is that care should be taken that partner doesn’t get hurt.
Bondage Costume - Bondage costume and bondage dresses are a type of the costume which cover whole body part or some particular part of the body. Bondage costume is available in varieties of size, so the users can choose the correct sized costume to enjoy the act.
Mask / Blindfold / Mask – Blindfold is one of the popular BDSM gear. It is made with soft materials so that people can use it comfortably. These are perfect BDSM accessories for the beginner couples. Blind folds allow one partner to keep guessing what the next move is going to be and this provides great excitement. Blindfolds are also worn during oral sex and role plays.

Precautions to follow while using Bondage toys

Couples should keep the necessary safety kit with them before using bondage toys
Users should not tie kidney, neck or other sensitive parts of the body
When restraints with keys are used, a couple should keep one pair of key safely in case of emergency. Users should check whether key is working fine before using it.
If one partner is not feeling comfortable or shows signs of irritation, then the act should be stopped immediately.
It is important to read the instructions of each bondage equipment thoroughly before using it

How to Choose Bondage Toys

In the market varieties of bondages accessories are available. It is important for the couple to select the correct equipment that can make them feel comfortable and can get pleasure out of it. They can also choose the ones that fit their size and material that is comfortable to both partners.

How to Decide on Bondage?

In bondage both partners should participate equally. When one assumes the position of master, then the other should be the salve. Bondage sex is something that can be done if both partners have mutual trust and understanding. While many men prefer to be a slave and love to be tied up by their women, it may not be the case always. According to surveys many women have reported to shown great interest in being tied up and enjoy rough sex. But in general, it may not be the case always. So, couples should decide mutually and then can indulge in it accordingly. They can also choose to reverse their role play and enjoy pleasure.

Bondage Sexual Positions

There are some recommended bondage positions. Let us see some of them.

Spread Eagle Bondage Position– It is all about restricting partners hands and legs to the four corners of the bed. It can be facing up or facing down, whichever is comfortable with the partner. Ropes and handcuffs can be used for this exciting position.

Useful Products :

Fanny Bomb - Ankle and Wrist to Bed Frame Restrain for Erotic Play

Fanny Bomb - Ankle and Wrist Bed Restrain for Erotic Play

Bent Over Bondage Position– Here one partner will be made to bend down facing the ground like a downward-facing dog. Then hands and legs of the partner will be restricted in that position using tape or rope and ticklers or spankers are used to inflict pain.

Useful Products :

Fanny Bomb - Wrist and Ankle Spreader for Erotic Play

Fanny Bomb - Back Door Ankle and Wrist Restrain for Erotic Play

Chair Bondage Position – A partner is restricted to a chair in the sitting position with their hands, legs, upper body and head tied. While normal home chairs can be used, but exclusive bondage chairs are also available for this specific purpose.

Useful Products:

Arm Binder Gag Bondage Position – It is a position that involves gagging and restricting hands and shoulder by tying them behind the neck and using gag over the mouth. This position may not be suitable for the beginners as they may find it bit difficult.

Leapfrog Bondage Position – It is tying both hand and legs together. Mouth gags, blindfolds or masks can also be used in this position. Try this position only on a bed.

Useful Products:

Mouthgag

Hogtie Bondage Position - This involves tying both hands and both legs together on the back. This position is suitable only for those who loves to feel helpless. Hogtie position is to tie both

Eiffel Tower Bondage position - Eiffel Tower position resembles the Eiffel Tower. The slave's both hands are tied together and hold it above the head and both legs are spread wide.

Lotus Bondage Position - One partner is made to sit by placing both ankles in opposite thighs. Crossed legs would be tied, hands tied to the back and upper body shows the breasts. It resembles the lotus yoga position. It is difficult is to stay for longer in this position.

BDSM HANDCUFFS

Handcuffs allow people to explore new sensations during their sexual practice. Handcuffs provide restraints and are used on hands, wrists, ankles, legs etc., Handcuffs are made in varieties of materials such as soft leather, metal, plastic, feather etc., The materials are usually soft and of high quality.

In the market varieties of bondage cuffs are available. The different types of bondage cuffs are handcuffs, leg cuffs, thumb cuffs, harness gag, testicle cuffs etc. Handcuffs are regarded as a good toy for beginners to enter into BDSM sex play. Before indulging in handcuffs, beginners should know safe ways to handle them.

Handcuffs are often used in combination with other BDSM toys such as Masks and Gags, Bondage Rope and tape. When the limbs are restrained, then the dominant partner can use vibrators and dildos to provide external stimulation and it would be a great fun, as the hands and legs cannot be moved by your partner and you are free to play on his or her body.

Types of Handcuffs

Handcuffs/Wristcuffs

These are generally made with two cuffs and both cuffs are linked by a chain. There are three types of handcuffs is available - chain, hinged and rigid. After fixing the handcuff it can be locked which can restrict the movement of hands.

Legcuffs/Anklecuffs

Legcuffs is very similar to the handcuffs but instead of wearing it in a hand, people wear it around the ankles. Leg cuffs have two cuffs and both the cuffs are connected with a long chain. A user would be able to walk easily with a leg cuff on, but they may not be able to run. It is used to restrict the movement of one partner.

Fingercuffs/ Thumbcuffs

Fingercuffs is also called the scuff or thumb cuffs. While using the finger cuffs, it is important for the user to select the correct size because it places a burden on the finger. Most people don’t use it so that it is not very popular among BDSM users.

Material and Strength

Handcuffs are available in varieties of materials such as metal, canvas, leather, plastic, hemp, silk, Velcro, rubber etc., and users can also select the type of handcuffs based on its strength. There are three types of handcuffs available based on the weight and strength.

Light Weight Handcuffs – made using fabric, silk, rubber etc., It is easy for common users and perfect for beginners

General Strength Handcuffs – Made using nickel, leather, Velcro, plastic etc., It is suitable for both beginners and experienced users.

High Strength Handcuffs – These are the strongest and are made of metal. It is suitable only for people with lot of experience in BDSM. It is better for beginners not to try this type.

Shape

Handcuffs can also be chosen based on the shape as it comes in varieties of shape. Some of the most popular ones include:

Chain Type Handcuffs – Both handcuffs are connected by a short chain. It provides some amount of freedom.

Hinged Type Handcuffs – It is little hard to break and provide lesser degree of freedom

Leather Handcuffs – Made using Latigo leather, this type is durable and dynamic. User need to clean it before and after every use

How to Use Handcuffs?

Communicate - Mutual trust plays an important role in BDSM sex play. Take time to first discuss with your partner about the kind of bondage, handcuffs and everything else that you are going to use. Get consent, create boundaries and safe word for safety and best bondage sex play. It is recommended to start the play slowly and make sure your partner is comfortable about it.

Pick your preferred Handcuff - Though there are multiple varieties of handcuffs available, you both can choose the one that are comfortable to you. Choosing a cheap or rough handcuff can inflict bruises or cut injuries in your wrist or hurt the other partner during the sexual activity.

Choose the comfortable position - Before putting handcuff on, make sure your partner knows in which position his or her is going to be handcuffed. You can handcuff your partner with her hands above head, behind back, crossed hands, hands and legs tied together etc., and always choose the one that you both are comfortable with.

Include other accessories - To make your handcuffs more interesting, it is important to include other bondage accessories such as blindfold, mouth gags etc., This can add more fun during handcuff play.

Precautions

Handcuffs are bit more complicated compared to tape and other things. Make sure your partner is comfortable with the type of handcuff that is used. Choose a familiar handcuff type and avoid to use double locking mechanism or some advanced models which may put too much pressure on hands. If your cuffs have the key, make sure it is at a safe and secure place. Do not restrict the partner too tight.

SPANKERS & TICKLERS

The Spanker is a BDSM sex toy that is used to hit the opponent. The hit can be light or strong. It is done during the sexual activity to enhance pleasure. Though spankers can be used by both men and women, mostly spankers are used by male partners to exercise their domination over their female partner. Usually men spank on the butts of women as women can bear the pain and it doesn’t cause any mark visible to others. A couple can use the spanker during the role play as a punishment in a BDSM scenario or even during intercourse to increase the sensation.

Spankers and Tickers belong to the different side of BDSM play. It is not part of the bondage. It doesn’t restrict any sensation, rather helps the users get more sensation. It is part of the kinky sex play.

During sexual activity when people get spanked using spankers then it causes the rush of the blood to the particular area of the body which enhances the sensation and gives them an exciting feeling. Spankers and Ticklers are often paired with dildos, vibrators and other toys for excitement. Spanking can increase the blood flow and activate the nerve ends.

If you haven’t received spanking before or used spankers on your partner, then the best way is to use it on hand first. Rub their hand slightly and spank lightly in the upward motion. Once the partner gets comfortable with it, they you can use it to the sensitive part of the body with harder or more frequent lashes.

What is a Tickler?

Tickler is a BDSM sex toy that is used to tickle the partner. It comes with a long, thin handle with a soft and smooth feather on other side. Some are shaped like a feather duster. It is used to tickle the partner’s skin and are generally used during the foreplay to for enhancing pleasure.

A tickler can be applied on the sensitive parts of the body such as armpits, arms, inner thighs, nipples, thighs, clitoris, nipples, penis, testicles etc., for generating arousing sensations and pleasurable feelings. Ticklers come in different weights and patterns that can allow the user to try different strokes over their partner.

Spankers and Ticklers do not belong to the bondage category. These are intended to explore the sweet side of torment or pain and allow you to get more acquainted to something that turns you ON the most. Spankers and Ticklers are using along with other bondage toys that restraints movements. When bondage is applied restricting the movement of limbs, then spankers and ticklers are used to inflict pain and pleasant sensation as the submissive partner couldn’t stop.

Different Types of Spankers

There are varieties of spankers and ticklers available in the market. A couple can select the spanker and tickler according to their need, choice and budgets. Spankers are available in different materials and each material gives different sensations when it comes to contact with the skin.

Leather - The leather spankers looks very sexy. It provides a stingy sensation during the BDSM sex play and it is best suited for the beginners.

Rubber – Rubber spankers are thick and dense. It provides an intense sensation. It is ideal for beginners and those with little BDSM experience

Wood - Wood spankers are hard, heavy hitting, thick and often wide. It provides a deep and intense pain. It is suitable only for experienced users.

Different Types of Ticklers

Leather - Leather Tickles provide pleasure feeling and it is suitable for both beginners and experienced couples.

Feathers - Feather tickler is one of the most common and popular ticklers. It is non-intimidating and provides a unique sensation and enhances pleasure during sexual activity.

Animal Tails – Some of the ticklers are made using animal tails. During sexual activity, people use the tip of the tickler to tease the sensitive part of the skin in a circular motion for unique sensation and pleasure feeling. Stroking with the animal's fur provides the silky, incredibly stimulating and smooth feeling. It is best suited for beginners.

How to use Spankers?

Before trying to use, it is important to know how to use Spankers properly.

Before starting discuss with your partner and find his or her comfort level. Fix some safe word with regard to when to stop or slow down.
Warm up the area where you will spanking. Massage and caress the area before spanking.
The ultimate spanking sweet spot is the area between the buttocks and upper thigh.
Do not spank over the kidney areas, joints, back, neck, etc. Be careful about the genitals.
Start with the gentle spanks. Keep communication with the partner, during a spanking, before and after as well.

How to use Ticklers?

It is to show etiquette to first discuss with your partner whether he or she is ready for tickling. Use the best tickler or buy your most favourite tickler type.

Start Start tickling from head to toe.
It is also a good choice to tickle the sensitive part, it develops extra sensation in a partner and makes him/her arouse.
Pay attention to the partner's reaction and manage to tickle according to it.
Also try ticking with Blindfolds, Rope, Bondage Tape, etc. for extra sensation
Ticklers may not hurt in any way, tickling leads to the laughing and a lot of fun, but still you should follow the partner's safe word.
Always use body safe ticklers. Tickler available in many types and material.

BLINDFOLDS, MASKS AND GAGS

Blindfolds, masks and gags are commonly used BDSM accessories across the world. These are easy to use and can provide great excitement during the sexual activity. These can be used by men, women, gay or lesbians, practically there is no restriction, just about anybody can use them with ease.

What is Blindfold?

It is a small piece of cloth that is used to cover the eyes. It is used to block their sight during the sexual activity, because of which the blindfolded partner may not know what is going to happen and this makes them feel excited as blindfolds make them anticipate and this provides a unique feeling which they may not experience during normal sexual activity. Imagine you are blindfolded made to lie down and you are made to give blow job to your partner and suddenly your partner stimulates you with a dildo. Is it not going to give you a kind of pleasure that you would have never experienced? It gives you an opportunity of experiencing a pseudo ‘threesome’ play. Because your eyes are blindfolded any unexpected move can enhance your excitement considerably.

Blindfolds are available in different colours, shapes, sizes, textures, finishes and styles. Most blindfolds are made with soft materials such as cloth, nylon, silk, feather etc., People who couldn’t buy a blindfold from the market, can also use clothes, towels etc., to close their eyes.

What is a Gag?

Gag is a small device which is inserted into the mouth to provide gently suffocation during the sexual activity. It is part of the BDSM sex play and those who wear the gag during the sex play are known as submissive as they are willing to get punished and don’t mind receiving the humiliation. In the market varieties of gags such ball gag, bit gag, butterfly gag, cleave gag etc. are available. The gag is generally made with silicone or rubber. Gags are usually made using high quality or medical grade materials that it is safe for the body.

Mouth gags are classified into three groups

- Over-the-mouth type (covers the mouth and tied it at the back of the head)

- Mouth Stuffing Type (something stuffed into the mouth)

- Mouth Opening type (mouth is open but jaw movement is restricted)

What is Mask?

Mask is BDSM equipment which is used to cover the eyes or face during the BDSM sex play. Most of the bondage mask covers the whole face. It is made with the rubber, latex, PVC, spandex, darlexx or leather. Mask can be used only when there is complete trust about each other. As the mask covers the entire face including the eyes, he or she will not know what the other partner is going to do and where he or she is going to touch and this helps them to feel excited throughout the session. While some masks cover the entire face, some cover only the eyes leaving mouth and nose open for breathing.

How to use Blindfolds, Masks and Gags

Before using BDSM accessories a user should know the correct manner in which it should be used. Otherwise, instead of pleasure it hurts.

How to use blindfolds

While using the blindfold avoid penetration immediately. People should start their sexual activity with foreplay. It is important that a couple should win the trust of their partner. A couple should select the blindfold which is made with the soft material.

How to use masks

The main purpose of the bondage mask is to hide the user's face. So, it is advisable to start with mild foreplay before moving on to more intense ones. The couple should always select the high quality, durable material bondage mask because it is safe for the body. People should always keep the safety kit (comprising of bandage, gloves, antiseptic cream etc.) with them which can be used in case of emergency. Masks are reusable, so it should be cleaned properly and stored safely for further use.

How to use mouth gags

A couple should not use the mouth gag for more than 20 minutes. Couples should not use mouth gags during cold or going through sinus problems.

Correct and comfortable size mouth gag should be used, otherwise he or she may feel high level of suffocation which can hurt, instead of giving pleasant experience. If people select the too small or too large mouth gag then instead of pleasure feeling, it hurts. After the BDSM sex play, mouth gags should be properly cleaned with water, toy cleaner and antiseptic liquid to make it free from germs and bacteria to avoid infection. Needless to say, mouth gags should not be shared with other users. Each one should have their own.

NIPPLE AND CLITORAL TOYS

Nipple toys are a special type of BDSM toys that are used to provide additional fun during sexual play. It can be used for foreplay. Though nipple toys are predominantly used by women, it can also be used by men. Nipple being one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body, a painful pinch allows women to experience heightened sexual stimulation. The couple uses the nipple toys over the nipple to restrict and increase the arousal. Variety of nipple toys such as clamps, clips etc. are available in the market. Nipple toys are used in conjunction with other BDSM toys such as bondage, handcuffs, gags etc.,

Types of Nipple Toys

The following are some of the popular nipple toys which provide different sensation during BDSM sex play.

Nipple Pumps Type - The nipple pump provides suction sensation to the nipple which not only helps increasing the blood flow, but also provides pleasant sensation. It is also used to enlarge the nipple. It comes with a bulb or cone shaped pieces which are placed over the nipple and then it will be pumped manually or a mechanical pump can also be used in some cases.

Nipple Clips and Clamps – Nipple clips and clamps causes pain and restricts the blood flow. It is used during BDSM sex play such as breast torture etc., To provide different pressure and strength different nipple clamps or clips are available in the market such as clover clamp, tweezer clamp, piercing clamp etc.,

Nipple Vibrating Type – Nipple toys are also available with vibration function. It provides good sensation without pain, because of which many prefer this type. It comes with different vibration and speed.

Tips to use Nipple Toys

- It should not be used for more than 30 minutes

- While using the nipple clamps, most of the user feels comfortable when the clamps are applied but they feel more intense sensation or pain when the clamps are released. So make sure you release it slowly

- While using vibrating nipple toys, it should be started with low speed and vibration speed can be increased gradually.

CLITORIS TOYS

Clitoris toys are exclusive toys for women which help them to stimulate clitoris during the sexual activity or masturbation to enjoy heightened pleasure. Some of the clitoris sex toys are designed in such a manner that it stimulates the clitoris and vagina simultaneously.

It is meant for those women who find it difficult to achieve orgasm.

Types of Clitoris Toys

There are different types of clitoris sex toys available which are made with silicone, rubber, plastic etc. material. All these materials are either high quality or medical grade so it is safe for the body. Some of the popular types include:

Pumps Type – It comes with a simple suction cup which is attached to the hand pump. The clitoris pump can be placed over the clitoris or labia or both and the user should pump by hand which creates the vacuum between the cup and skin. It provides sucking sensation to the clitoris and provides enormous pleasure to the women.

Vibrating Type – This is a clitoris toy with a vibration function. Some of the clitoris vibrators are attached to the other sex toys to provide the additional stimulation. Women can also use the clitoris vibrator during the masturbation to satisfy all their sexual need. Clitoris vibrator provides intense pleasure.

Tips to use Clitoris Toys

- It should be cleaned thoroughly before use.

- Before placing the clitoris toy, lots of personal lubricant should be used applied over the genitals and on the surface of the clitoris sex toys

- The suction cup of the toy should be placed over the clitoris and start pumping.

- If vibrator clitoris toy is used, then power should be activated and then it should be applied over the genital area

- The user should always start the vibration function with low speed and then gradually the speed should be increased

Precaution

Nipple and clitoris toys cuts off blood supply to the portion. So, it should be used with caution as prolonged use may create permanent damage to the blood vessels.

- A moderate time to use any nipple and clitoris toys is 15-20 minutes. If you want to use it for a longer time, then there should be a break after every 15-20 minutes of usage.

- Some prefer to take a break for 5 minutes, some for 10 minutes, so on.

COCK AND BALL TOYS

Cock and Ball toys belong to the BDSM category and these toys are generally used to stimulate or torture the male’s penis, testicles and glans. These toys can be used during sexual intercourse or during masturbation to satisfy all their sexual cravings. These toys are perfect for a woman to try cock bondage with her partner. As penis being the most sensitive parts of a male body, men can use these toys to experience highly erotic and enhanced pleasure.

All cock and ball toys are made with varieties of material that are high quality and are medical grade, so that it is perfectly safe for the body.

CBT stands for cock and ball torture. It is part of a BDSM sex play where a man is made to feel discomfort by pressing his cock and balls. For cock and ball torture different types of sex toys such as floggers, ball stretchers, cock cage etc., are used and also techniques such as slapping, squeezing, stretching, stepping on, kicking the testicles or penis etc., will also be tried during this BDSM play. Only an experienced male can participate. For beginners it might be difficult and they can indulge if they can have absolute safety.

Types of Cock & Ball Toys for soft SM

Though there are several varieties of Cock and Ball toys available, let us see some of the popular ones.

Penis Sleeves – It is one of the popular sex toys used by men during the sexual activity. Though penis sleeves do not give any kind of torture to the cock or ball but it can provide a unique stimulation. Penis sleeves are worn in the same manner the way a condom is worn. Currently, penis sleeves are also available with vibration function and dots in the outer surface. A vibrating penis sleeve can stimulation both men and women at the same time. Both beginners and experienced men can use this comfortably.

Cock ring & Ball rings – A cock ring is a sex toy which is worn at the base of the penis. This helps men achieve strong erection by restricting the flow of blood. It is used not only for sexual pleasure but also for medical reasons. It is prescribed for men suffering from Erectile Dysfunction. It is available in different sizes to accommodate various penis sizes.

Vibrators – These are increasingly used by men for anal and male prostate arousal. Vibrators are also used for penis masturbation and ball irritation. Vibrator sex toys are used for either stimulation or torture by a male partner during BDSM sex play.

Bondage tape & rope, etc. - Generally, bondage tape and rope are used to tie the opposite partner. So women can use it to restrict and torture the men's cock and balls. While using tape or rope over cock or balls, it is good to choose the soft stuff. The penis is sensitive and hard material can cause rashes on it and can permanently damage it.

Types of BDSM CBT Play

The sex toy which is used for the BDSMCBTplays also varies with the type of Play. Let's see some of the types ofCBTplat that men can perform in their free time.

Ball Busting - In the ball busting play- squeezing, tight binding, and striking of the testicles etc. are some acts that are performed by men. Men use the hands, feet, or torture aids such as paddles, whips, floggers, humblers, and other manmade devices while involving in the ball busting.

Ball Stretching - Ball stretching is the method in which men can stretch their scrotum. Men can do this to increase the length of the scrotum so that testicles automatically hang lower.

Ball Crushing - A ball crusher is generally a device that is made with metal, acrylic or any other hard material. Such ball crusher is used to squeeze the testicles slowly by turning nut and screw.

Needle Play - This sort of CBT is certainly about pain, but can also be a very sensual experience. It is essential to clean the area with antiseptic beforehand and always use sterilized hypodermic needles.

Urethral Play - In a urethral play, men will insert something which is very thin into the urethra from the tip of the penis. It is a little painful and uncomfortable if men have never tried this. The person involved should use lot of personal lubricants and the toys used should be sterilized to prevent infection.

Knife Play – Knife play is used as a form of temperature play such as cooling and heating. While using the knife during the BDSM sex play there is always a chance of transmitting diseases, so users should be careful about it.

Sensation/Temperature Play – Commonly, people use the wax to dripping into the sensitive part during the temperature play. A couple can also use the ice or cool metal object to enjoy temperature play.

Genital Bondage - While using the genital bondage, be careful not to bind too tightly. If men bind it too tight then there is a possibility that it causes the permanent damage.

Electro-Stimulation - Electro stimulation toys / devices are designed in such a manner that it produces electrifying shock from the inside out. It helps in achieving orgasm.

Genital Spanking - Genital spanking is the method in which people can spank the genital area with a flogger, cane, whip or with the hand to feel the enhanced pleasure. It should be performed only under extreme trust with each other

Safety Aspects during Cock and Ball Torture

While involving in the cock and ball torture, safety is very important.

- It is necessary for the men to shave the pubic hair for a clean view and to avoid pinching.

- Binding should not last more than 20 minutes. Men should remove the binding every 20 minutes.

- Men should check the cuts and sores before starting sexual activity.

- Men can also slide their finger underneath the rope when tying for safety & comfort.

- While involved in sexual activity with any ofCBTtoys, if men do not feel comfortable or they feel any types of irritation then immediately stop using it.

- Men should always keep the safety kit with them in case of an emergency.

- Before using the cock and ball toys, men should clean it properly.

- Whatever may be the cock and ball toys used, it is recommended to read the instructions thoroughly before using it. The user can gain knowledge from experts or experienced friends

Whatever the CBT toys you choose for theCBT play, it is recommended to read the instruction of product and get knowledge from friend or experts.

ELECTRO AND MEDICAL FETISH

Fetish can be anything and electro and medical fetish is a part of it. This is usually done as a foreplay. Let us see electro and medical fetish in detail.

What is Electro Fetish?

It is a BDSM sexual practice involving electrical stimulation over the body to active and arouses nerves for sexual pleasure. It is also called as ‘Electro Sex’. For those who want to try electro fetish, there are various types of toys which provide electrical stimulation in difference frequency ranges. Among the BDSM practitioners, electro fetish toys have become popular and there is tremendous enthusiasm to try and experience that stimulation.

The effect of vibration due to power creates a unique and pleasant sensation when the current is made to pass through on the erogenous zones and other sensitive parts of the body. Though it is considered as abnormal among few BDSM users, electric fetish is very much part of BDSM sexual activity and the unique electrical stimulation is increasingly preferred to make their experience unforgettable.

Why electro fetish is not recommended for beginners?

When you have not used electric shock in your genital area, then the very concept of electric fetish might look weird and dangerous. A beginner might feel dangerous to use electricity and afraid to come in contact with it, particularly in genital area. These electro sex toys are built with bearable current range and lead to excite the nerve ends only. Even then, users need to be careful and learn to operate it safely to make it enjoyable. It might require two or three attempts to know the limits and ways to use it in BDSM sex play so that it becomes enjoyable. It is recommended that first timers should try this in the company of an experienced user, atleast during the first few attempts.

Electro Sex Toys for electro fetish

Electro Fetish is regarded as one of the exciting options to give a fresh lease of life to your otherwise boring sexual life. There are several electro sex toys are available in the market currently. Let us see some of the major types

Paste Type

These type of toys provide electrical stimulation to the skin through the pads that are pasted to the body. The user can get hands-free stimulation. The electro sex toys can be attached over the vaginal or penis by pasting it over them. It will emit lowest frequency vibration pulse massage which is just enough for instant arousal.

Precautions

- Gel type pads are washable. Keep it clean. When it gets dirty it becomes difficult to conduct electricity.

- Make sure Pads are tightly attached to the body. The loose attachment can cause pain and vibration may not be felt.

- Before buying check the adhesive properties. It becomes useless when the adhesive properties weaken.

Clip Type

These type of toys have clips to connect to the body part. Current is made to pass through the clip and generate pleasure to the attached area. Clip type electro sex toys are suitable for pin point current stimulation.

Clip type electro sex toy is predominantly used for the nipple. Women love to use this over their nipple during the BDSM act. Though this can be used to provide pinching electro sensation to any part of the body, it is primarily used over nipple to provide sharp pinching sensation with electro vibrations.

Penis wearing type

Needless to say, this type is meant exclusively for men. This can be worn around the penis and the user can experience electric pulse and thus feel intense stimulation. As penis being a highly sensitive body part, even a little bit of excess electricity can make the user feel intense pain. It is important to pass correct amount of electricity to feel exciting sensation. Whether you are a beginner or expert, you should always follow the instructions.

Insertion Type

This type of toy is meant to go inside and stimulate the inner walls of the vagina and anus directly. These toys provide the kind of stimulation that can never be experienced by other means. Even the mild electric stimulation can be very strong and it will spread throughout the body instantly. Men can use this insertion electro sex toy to stimulate the prostate gland, and enjoy the dry orgasm. For women, they should be careful while using it because what is bearable on the outer body may be too unbearable for the highly sensitive vaginal or anal skin inside. It is meant for the advanced users and may be too risky for the beginners.

What is Medical Fetish?

It is a sexual fetish play conducted with the help of objects, practices and environment of medical nature. There are several medical fetish sex toys are available such as instruments, costumes, medical syringe, gloves, doctor and nurse costume etc., are some of them. It helps couples break the monotony and boredom in their sexual life and enjoy unique sexual pleasure.

On caution that is often mentioned for medical fetish enthusiasts is BE CAREFUL AND DO NOT FOLLOW METHODS SHOWN IN PORNOGRAPHY. What is shown in porno movies are carried out by experts and experienced medical fetish players. Imitating such acts without any practice can be dangerous. At best users can try doctor and nurse costumes in the beginning and then move on to other medical toys gradually.

Type of Medical fetish toy

Medical fetish involves usage of some of the medical equipment as sex toys. Let us see some of them.

For Anal Pleasure

As the skin inside the anus is very sensitive, it is important to choose safe medical toy and medical practices for anal play.

Medical Syringe – The BDSM medical syringe is used for anal washing, lubricant injection etc., these syringes doesn’t have needle but the tip is rounded. BDSM medical syringe are portable because it is small in size. It is easy to use and can easily go deep in the anus.

Medical gloves - As anal fucking is bit difficult and it is not possible by naked hands. Either you have to use lubricant or medical gloves. Medical gloves also add soft and smooth texture for insertion while fingering or fist fucking.

Enema - It is a medical instrument that is used to inject the fluid or water deep in the rectum. Basically it is used to clean the anal for medical examination or anal sex play.

Opening device

There are some medical instruments that allow you to see the inside of vagina of your female partner. These opening devices are used in medical fetish play.

Medical Vaginal Speculum – It is a medical instrument used to dilate the vagina and washing, examination of the inside of vagina. By the use Medical vaginal speculum, you can see all the pink parts inside your partner's vagina. Men feel exciting to use this medical fetish toy in medical BDSM play.

Medical Anal Speculum – This is used to dilate the anus and washing, examination of the inside of anus.

Urethral Stimulation

It is an act of stimulating the urethra. There are many sex toys for urethral stimulation such as Urethral Dilator, urethral dildo, urethral vibe etc, but for medical fetish use ‘Catheters’ are famous. These urethral sex toys are used only by men because the prostate is present only in men.

Catheter

Medical catheters are thin tube that that can be inserted in the body to treat various diseases or perform some surgical procedure. Urethra medical catheter is a used for excretion of urine. It goes into the penis and creates a sensation when it is inserted. Needless to say it should be properly sterilized, otherwise Catheters may lead to bacterial infection in the penis.

Urethral Dilator, Dildo, Vibe

These Urethral Dilator, dildo, vibe, etc are sex toys used by expert BDSM player. These sex toys are used for urethral stimulation. Couples use these sex toys for humiliation play.

CHASTITY DEVICES

A chastity device is a simple device that restricts the men's and women's genital from having sexual intercourse or any sexual activity like masturbation, stimulation, etc. Chastity devices restrict sexual activity of the partner. This prevents the contact of two genitals or any sexual activity. Originally chastity devices were used to protect women’s purity and also to restrict them from indulging in unwanted sexual activity with other partners. Chastity devices are available for both men and women users. So, any partner can prevent his or her partner from indulging in any sexual activity by using chastity devices. Chastity devices not only restrict intercourse but also restricts even masturbation or any form of stimulation of genitals.

History of Chastity Devices

Chastity devices have a long history. Chastity devices came into being during the medieval European crusades expedition. During this era, there used to be wars that runs for years with neighbouring countries, requiring European men to stay away from the family for a long time. Then to save and protect their wives and lovers from the unfaithful sexual acts and to safeguard them from sexual predators, they used chastity devices. Women themselves used it voluntarily to prevent themselves from abuse and exploitation.

It is the ultimate contraceptive tool that physically prevents sexual intercourse. Chastity device used to be very difficult to wear for a long time because of its heavy metal structure. Chastity devices were also used as a tool for punishment and torture.

What is chastity belt?

It is a belt that can be worn around the waist like a belt, which covers the whole genital area, whether it is vagina or penis. If the user wears this chastity device then it is impossible to perform any sex act like masturbation and stimulation.

Chastity belts come in different materials and with many different locking mechanisms. Present day chastity belts are so comfortable and modern that it is impossible to recognize that one is wearing some chastity device under the dress. Chastity belts won’t be visible from outside. It is recommended to use some lubricant while using chastity belt to reduce friction.

Negative Aspects of Chastity Belt

Chastity belts deprive sexual freedom of the wearer due to locking mechanism. If the key is lost, then he or she cannot remove the chastity cage and cannot free their genitals even for urination and defecation. It is adjustable, the user can adjust its size according to body fitting and fit it well. So wearer can wear it for a long time. Due to its durability, it is impossible to destroy without a key, hence it works to protect the wearer from sexual exploitations like rape. And yes, even if you have a key, you required a partner to open it and free you. You cannot live without a partner.

Positive Aspect of Chastity Belt – Ultimate Expression of Love

The wearer of chastity belt cannot indulge in any type of sexual activity with other people and they can’t even masturbate not ejaculate. In other words, wearer is bound to have sexual pleasure only with their partner and no one else. This act is a reflection of pure love. Wearer and his/her chastity are dedicated to the only partner.

Waiting for such patience and enjoying pleasure only with the partner gives a different sensation. The user can feel and express that intense love after wearing the chastity device for a long time. It has proven to enhance love making between couples and it works to enhance trust among partners.

If you love your partner, you should voluntarily commit yourself to wearing chastity device or chastity cage willingly. Similarly your partner too can commit to protect his or her purity and prove their commitment.

Torture Pleasure – Another Façade of Chastity Devices

Even if you want to break away from the chastity device, you can’t have sexual pleasure. Such restriction adds pleasure to the pain during the sexual activity, this may be a form of a torture pleasure. Chastity device or chastity case is also torture devices that give pains of pleasure.

How Chastity Device works in BDSM?

- With chastity device, the wearer feels pain and his or her libido comes down. Eventually the pain will overtake the senses and they become desperate to remove it

- The wearer becomes weak and humble and will be ready to do anything to escape from the painful pleasure

- As there is no way to escape from the chastity device without a key, he or she will fall down in front of the person who holds key and will be ready to fulfill his or her sexual desire. The person who is holding the key is after all the partner.

- To escape from the painful chastity device, you will follow your partner as a slave and do whatever he or she wishes to help you get out of the chastity device.

- Although the wearer can remove himself or herself using the key, the real BDSM fun lies in waiting submissively till the partner opens it using the key.

Modern chastity devices

With the modern age, metal processing technology has greatly improved and hence chastity device appearance has improved. And such improvement will continue to increase in the future. Current day chastity devices are made using light weight stainless steel, leather and plastic materials.

For men

There is a separate set of chastity devices for men. It comes with a special structure tailored to male genitals. The size of the male chastity device or penis cage is smaller than the maximum erection of male organs and is often made quite compact. The chastity device for male restricts the freedom of sexual intercourse, erection, masturbation and ejaculation.

For women

Mostly the chastity device is made by the shape of underwear shape or T shape, with a locking device for sealing undressing. Once a woman gets locked with the chastity device, she cannot be stimulated with the penis, dildo, vibrators, or something else. It strictly prevents women from masturbation and sexual intercourse.

Precautions

While using the chastity devices during the sexual activity, it is important for the user to take some precautions

- User should be careful about its size and thickness.

- If the user is male then he should purchase the chastity device according to their penis size. Most of the chastity devices have a urinary drain at the tip. If there is a size mismatch, then the penis does not reach the urinary drain tip and the chastity devices become dirty when urine is put out.

- During sexual activity, if the user does not feel comfortable or they feel any types of irritation then immediately stop using it.

- It is better if the user urinate once before wearing and locking the chastity devices.

- Sometimes there is a possibility that the skin around the genitalia may get rash, so in this case, the user should remove the devices.

- It is a reusable device, so the user should clean it before and after every use using water, toys cleaner or antiseptic liquid

- User should also never share their personal chastity devices with other people to avoid infections.

- User should wear the chastity devices only for a maximum of 2 to 5 hours.

- Most of the chastity devices are available with the pairs of keys. People should keep one key safely in case of emergency if the other key is lost.

BONDAGE ROPE AND TAPE

Ever tried bondage rope and tape during your sexual activity. It provides a new sensation and the kind of pleasure one can derive by restricting the partner’s hands and legs with a rope or tape can be real fun. That is why it plays a significant role in BDSM play across the world.

What is Bondage Rope?

Bondage Rope and Tape are part of the BDSM sex play. Bondage Rope is one of the famous plays in BDSM sex play and it occupies a special place in the lives of every kinky lover. Bondage rope looks very elegant and artistic and provides the lovers with great fun. It can be used according to the imagination of the partners involved. Bondage rope is used to restrict partner’s body, hands, legs etc.,

Bondage rope comes in various sizes and lengths. Ropes with small length are used for tying limbs, while the long ones are used to dress up and cover the whole body with a rope. This way partner can feel pressure on whole body and that provides a unique stimulation.

When it comes to choosing the rope, the user should consider the following characteristics of the rope such as Friction, Texture, Flexibility, Stretch, Durability, and Strength. These characteristics are important for enjoying a sensual BDSM play using bondage rope. Needless to mention, a flexible and soft textured rope is more comfortable to use and it doesn’t cause any bruise on the skin, whereas a hard textured rope is likely to cause bruise and it leaves a mark in the skin, which is undesirable. Further when a high friction rope is tied all over the body, it tend to provide more pressure and pain across the body. The high strength rope is good for full or partial suspension in the BDSM play.

What is Bondage Tape?

Bondage tape is specially made for BDSM bondage and sex play as it won’t leave any visible marks on the skin like a rope, handcuffs etc., It can be used without any issues. Tape is used to restrict the submissive partner. It can be used to restrict both limbs, both hands together and hands to limbs and the whole body. Bondage tapes are not only used to restrict limbs, but many people also use it as mouth gags. It comes in two varieties, viz, adhesive and non-adhesive. It depends on the user preference.

The bondage tape should be chosen based on its properties such as stretchability, durability, strength, water resistant and type such as adhesive or non-adhesive. Water resistant property is important when you are planning to indulge your play in water.

Types of Bondage Rope

Let's know about the various type of bondage rope that might help to build a delight rope bondage play.

By Length - Bondage rope is available with many length sizes from 1m to 10m. The short one is suitable for hands and limbs tying, but the long one is preferred by couples who want to try dressing up whole body.

By Material

Bondage ropes are available in different materials such as synthetic, nylon, polyester, natural bondage rope, jute, hemp, linen, cotton, silk, bamboo, sisal, manila and coir.

Off all these, silk and bamboo ropes are very expensive but are soft in touch. Sisal, Manila and Coir are extremely rough in nature, which can cause rashes on the skin.

Types of Bondage Tape

There are two types of bondage tapes that are used in BDSM play.

Adhesive Bondage Tape – This type is a traditional tape that is used in bondage sex and roleplay to enhance the excitement and fun in the sexual life. It has a sticky substance on one side and it gets stuck to the body part instantly. The sticky substance remains in the skin and can potentially cause allergic reaction to some people. This tape is not suitable to use over hairy portions of the skin as it can cause intense pain while remove as hair gets pulled out.

Non - Adhesive Bondage Tape - Unlike traditional tapes, Non - Adhesive Bondage Tape is free from a sticky substance. It is made of latex and latex stick to itself. These are good for the one who has an allergy with adhesive bondage tape. Users need not worry about using over the hairy portions of the skin. These tapes have good holding power and gets stuck to the body for long and allow couples to enjoy extended fun.

How to use bondage ropes and tapes effectively?

- Pick the soft one if you are a beginner. It is good even for an experienced couple as it doesn’t hurt. A hard rope is difficult to remove and causes rashes on the body.

- Do not tie the rope too tight, as it may restrict blood flow in the body.

- Avoid the tying in the wrong way, as it become difficult to untie.

- Immediately untie the partner if he/she feels uncomfortable.

- Bondage Tape is made of soft material, so keep it away from the flammable thing.

- Remember not to twist the tape and lay it flat against the skin.

- Always keep a pair of blunt tip scissors for any emergency.

- If you use adhesive tape to restrict him or her, then remove it carefully as it may cause pain. Avoid using tape over hairy portions of the body, which can cause excessive pain.

- Take time to indulge in restriction, don’t do it too fast as it may become unbearable.

- After successful rope or tape bondage, remove it quickly when the action is over. Unwanted restriction for a long time is completely unnecessary.